| SO, WHO'S TO BLAME? |
| Scapegoats of the world UNITE!! |
| I have noticed that everybody wants to blame everyone else for everything that goes wrong, while on the other hand, no one else can be provided with any share of the credit when something goes right. It seems that we as a people have stopped the attitude of the past generations where we recognized that so much that happens is a result of our own, well, clumsiness or stupidity. I think I understand the cause for this change, and like many things, money is the root of all evil. The shift in attitude from self-reliance to pure and outright greed is a contributing factor to this change. Let me give you an example. Several years ago, and the newspapers played it up big at the time, a woman sued McDonalds because the coffee served from the drive through window was TOO hot. After receiving the coffee, she spilt the coffee in her lap and suffered first degree burns, pain and suffering, and humiliation in explaining why she was burned to her friends. Because the coffee was TOO hot, she sued McDonalds and won a settlement. Besides the fact that the court actually felt the need to award a settlement, there are so many things wrong with this situation. Everyone remembers the story of Goldilocks and the three bears. Upon breaking and entering the domicile of Mr & Mrs Bear, Goldilocks tasted the porridge and it was too hot. Did she then eat it? No, using common sense, she moved on to the next bowl of porridge, or as any one else would do today, wait for it to cool down. Back to the coffee, if she wasn't clumsy and had not spilt it on herself, would she have just drunk the coffee right down, scalding her mouth or would she have sipped it and blew on it to cool it off? I'm making a giant leap forward here but I think she would have waited until it was drinkable. This implies to me that she is capable of identifying whether or not the coffee is hot. So basically we can conclude that the woman is clumsy. When I was a kid, my parents told me that I was an accident waiting to happen, i.e. in other words, I lacked a certain level of natural grace due to the predominately clumsy nature. I have lived with this curse all my life. I spill stuff, on me, on the carpet, in the car, my mother only gave me half a glass of milk because that was all she wanted to clean up. Is there someone I can blame for this curse? Is there any money I can get for blaming someone else? NO, I have to accept that spills are my fault. When my wife and I moved into a brand new house, the first night there we were having spaghetti for dinner, and, yes you guessed it, I spilt the tomato sauce on the carpet. Years later I took out the stained carpet and installed tile. The most out of control example I have seen lately is the issue of the parents at children sporting events either fighting among themselves or attacking an official. Yes, one official was killed as a result of an attack. I think the problem relates to whom the parent wants to blame for perceived injustices on the field. Why do parents believe that an official is responsible for the poor playing skills of the children? Why do parents believe that attacking an official will change the outcome of the game? Parents are upset because they are unwilling to accept the results of nature and their molding and must find a way of blaming someone else. Are the calls made in a sporting event of such major, earth shattering consequence that violence and injury are the most meaningful memories? Children are emotionally scarred by losing when the parents reflect the pain and berate the child for the perceived poor performance. I have discovered that the more frequent the laughter after a loss, the greater the desire to go on. Parents can use a sporting event to teach tolerance and acceptance with an eye to the future or they can teach unsportsmanlike attitudes, finger pointing without responsibility and a fear of each future game for the dishonor it may bring. Place the blame appropriately and move on. Yes, these stories are just the tip of the iceberg. Whenever someone tries to use a lawn mower to trim the hedge and cuts off their arm, it is the manufacturer's fault. Whenever a child climbs over a wall and drowns in a neighbor's swimming pool, it is the neighbor's fault. So who's to blame when a mother fails to make sure the child is safely belted into the seat, gets in an accident and the child is thrown from the vehicle? We have lost the ability to accept that often the fault is our own, it's almost as if it is easier to bear if we can point to someone else and say it's your fault. This leads me into accepting personal responsibility for actions. My stand on capital punishment is not the issue right now. I have yet to understand why so many people attempt to blame society for the need to execute someone that has been sentenced under the laws of the land. Everyone knows that certain actions can result in specific punishments. When a person commits a crime and is caught and convicted, then society is not to blame, the criminal is to blame. Could society have done more, earlier in his life, to stop this behavior? Maybe , maybe not. Like ugly goes clean to the bone (old saying about beauty and skin deep), some behaviors are molded into the person from the beginning and, well, a leopard's spots don't change. So many people wail and moan about the failure of society and yet the laws that allow or demand a punishment as cruel as the death penalty aren't changed. Society as a whole believes that, if nothing else, the fear of the deterrent is needed to curb truly violent behavior. Needless to say, capital punishment is a whole discussion unto itself, however, I for one, at each death sentence I reread the crimes, relive the worry and horror that I might be next, and bless the day when society won't have to fear this person. The point of the whole discussion is placing the blame where the blame lies. We as a people have lost the ability to look into ourselves and see our faults. We only go through the process to make sure that no one can point at us. If there is a chance that it is our fault, we fail miserably in the look at ourselves but we make sure to point to someone else. In our self inspection, we are as blind as a bat. I think back to my grandfather's time. There was no one to blame cause they were overcoming the frontier and if they failed, the only choice was to get up and start again. If you didn't get up, you died. My grandfather died when he was 28 and left a wife and children behind because there was no doctor. My grandmother, without the benefit of someone to blame, raised her children, married again lived a long and happy life. No blame, no recriminations, she knelt, she cried and she picked herself back up, stood straight and moved on with what was important in life - the future. The wisdom of the ages says; "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." Rewritten in modern terminology would be something like; "If you don't succeed at first, hire a lawyer and look around for someone that looks innocent." Got this from a friend and had to include it, an unsigned verse (if anyone wants to claim it, I'll post it) Let's see if I understand how the world works lately... If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work, He blames the restaurant. If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of Lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company. If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home Drunk, he blames the bartender. If your grandchildren are brats without manners, You blame television. If your friend is shot by a deranged madman, you blame The gun manufacturer. And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries To kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, and the passengers KIll him instead, the mother of the deceased Blames the airline. I must have lived to long to Understand the world as it is anymore. So, if I die While my old, wrinkled butt is Parked in front of this computer, I want you to blame Bill Gates... okay? |